Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects
 

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I just bought a used car. It’s a convertible. You turn the key, and it converts into a piece of crap. -Scott E. Roeben
 



Sorry recharge khatam ho gaya. Galfriend ko I luv u bolna hai or recharge khatam. Ab kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein. Theke pe jao, quarter lo, 4 peg maro or g/f k ghar k bahar khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U. Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega. Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein.
 



Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY. Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed! Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?
 



Always start your day with a lot of S E X S-mile E-nergy X-citement so make SEX a daily habit, &
 



Do you know the difference between a pun and a fart? A pun is a sudden shift of wit!
 



A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage. What did they named them? They named them as ‘Jo-Jua’, ‘So-Hua’
 



Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain? Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai.
 



What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah? Wow! New Underwear.
 



Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too… Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.
 



Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards? Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says ‘To the only boy I ever loved’ Gal: Great! I want 10 of them
 



There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again.
 



Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho… Kuch nahi yaar bas aapki shakal yaad aa gayi!
 



It’s the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It’s called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.
 



Ki kariye lokan da, har gal nu lok jhamela kehnde ne, Je sms na kariye ta kanjoos, te je kariye ta Vehla kehnde ne!
 



Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c Oh mneu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c
 


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What’s the difference between wife n neighbours wife? Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour’s wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.