Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain? Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai. Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte
 

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Train mein TT Sadhu se bola: Kahan jana hai? Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha. TT: Ticket hai? Sadhu: Nahin TT: Chalo Sadhu: Kahan? TT: Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
 



Girl: If u’ll try to kiss me, main shor macha doongi. Boy: Lekin yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahin hai. Girl: I know but formality to karni hi padegi…
 



Gud Morning… Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night after sucking ur blood. Thanks
 



I’d climb the highest mountain. I’d swim the ocean blue, I’d do anything my dear- Just to get away from you
 



A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don’t know how many have handled it but u still want to have it.
 



When things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when tears flow in ur eyes, always remember 3 things: I’m with u, U have money & Bar is open
 



In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it’s loss or profit? Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise
 



Some dead people went to hell & were glad after seeing the board on gate. Why? Because it reads: NO SEATS EXCEPT FOR SC/ST/OBC
 



I have started luving ‘U’… I know it sounds ridiculous but I can’t control my feelings 4 ‘U’. Some time later I’ll start luving more ALPHABETS.!
 



Once in a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALA But girraffe was not eating. Why? Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND
 



1980 girls: Maan mei Jeans pehanungi Maan : Nahin beti log kya kahengey? 2006 girls: Maan mein mini skirt pehanungi Maan: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!
 



At a Rly stn a gal cheked her weight-58 kg She removed sandal-56 kg Then removed jacket-53kg Then dupatta-52 kg Coins khatam. A baba in q behind her said- Beebe tu kam chaalu rakh, bhaan batheri hai babay kol
 



Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika? Dono ne kapde tyag diye, ek ne desh ke liye, doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!
 



Ap ki awaz KOYAL Jaisi, Aankhain HIRAN Jaisi, Chaal MOR jaisi, Aadtain BANDAR Jaisi. Acha hota agar koi ek cheez Insanon Wali Bhi Hoti
 



A woman had triplets, she named them Mat, Pat & Tat. She fed Mat from left tit, Pat from her right tit… Moral of the story: No Tit for Tat
 






 Nasha aankho me hota hai Sharaab mein nahin, Sharddha Dil me hoti hai Mandir mein nahin….. Dosti SMS karne se badhti hai, SMS padhne se nahi….

 Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya, Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai, Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya, Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
 

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Lamha Lamha Waqt Guzar Jayega, Chand Lamhon Men Exam Sar Pe Ajayega, Abhi Bhi Waqt Hai Do Line Padh Lo, Warna Paas Kia Munna Bhai Karwae Ga!
 



Teri Maa Di, Tere Peo Di, Teri Behan Di, Tere Bhra Di, Teri Bhabi Di, Tere Pure Khandan Di, Te Meri v Tu Jaan Hai
 



Mohabbat 1 bar ho jaye us ko bholapan kehtay hain, 2 bar ho jaye us ko dewaanapan kehtay hain, 3 bar hoo jaye us ko pagalpan kehtay hain, agar phir bhi na rukhay to use kameenapan kehtay hai
 



 Khuda bachaye hamein in haseenon se, naazneenon se, dilnasheenon se, jaaasheenon se… par inhe kaun bachaye hum kameenon se…
 



Jab apka SMS ata hai mera rom-rom machal jata hai, sara badan kaamp jata hai, dil main gudgudi si hoti hai. Stupid, yeh apka kasoor nahi, mera phone Vibrator per hota hai
 



Judge: U r crossing the limits. Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai? Judge: How dare you call me saala? Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun ‘Sa Law’ kehta hai?
 



 Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do. Saheb: Kal aana. Bhikhari: Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain
 



 Bhagwan apki umar lambi karey! Bhagwan apko Naukri de! Bhagwan apko Khush rakhe! Bhagwan apko Barkat de! Yaad ho gaya? Chal phir Katora utha aur shooru ho ja
 



Jodhpur jail ordered the purchase order of 999 shirts n 1000 pants for inmates. Guess y this odd combination? Salman Khan is coming
 



May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds… and may our diamonds be forever… Then we’ll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty
 



Devdas’s matrimonial ad- Wanted wife. Age no bar! Height No bar! Luks no bar! Caste No Bar! But gal’s father shoul have his own Bar.
 



Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
 



FOOL se, FOOL ne, FOOLon ki FOOLwari me FOOL ke sath wish kiya ‘You are the most beautiFOOL, colorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS
 



What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!
 



Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi Hon, Sabko Punjab aur Haryana bhej do
 






 What’s the diff between Dava &d Daru? Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

 Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects
 

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I just bought a used car. It’s a convertible. You turn the key, and it converts into a piece of crap. -Scott E. Roeben
 



Sorry recharge khatam ho gaya. Galfriend ko I luv u bolna hai or recharge khatam. Ab kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein. Theke pe jao, quarter lo, 4 peg maro or g/f k ghar k bahar khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U. Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega. Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein.
 



Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY. Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed! Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?
 



Always start your day with a lot of S E X S-mile E-nergy X-citement so make SEX a daily habit, &
 



Do you know the difference between a pun and a fart? A pun is a sudden shift of wit!
 



A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage. What did they named them? They named them as ‘Jo-Jua’, ‘So-Hua’
 



Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain? Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai.
 



What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah? Wow! New Underwear.
 



Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too… Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.
 



Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards? Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says ‘To the only boy I ever loved’ Gal: Great! I want 10 of them
 



There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again.
 



Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho… Kuch nahi yaar bas aapki shakal yaad aa gayi!
 



It’s the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It’s called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.
 



Ki kariye lokan da, har gal nu lok jhamela kehnde ne, Je sms na kariye ta kanjoos, te je kariye ta Vehla kehnde ne!
 



Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c Oh mneu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c
 


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What’s the difference between wife n neighbours wife? Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour’s wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

 How do u know when kids start to grow up? Gals grow up when they start to put lipstick n boys grow up when they start to wipe it off!
 

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Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen. Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai. Mom: TV chahe 14? ka ho ya 29? ka remote 6? ka hi hota hai.
 



A baby fish asked her mother: Y can’t we live on earth? Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it’s made for SELFISH.
 



Fill in the blank with yes or NO only. _______I M NOT A Male. Koi jaldi nahin hai, aaram se soch kar bata dena.
 



Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai. Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
 



Basanti: Bhaag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai. Dhanno: Tujhe apni padi hai. Meri soch jiske peeche Gabbar ke 10 ghode pade hain
 



Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you’ve always been a headache!
 



In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what r Nitrates Gal answered shyly: night rates, they r costlier than day.
 



Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so girls r always incomplete without boys.
 



Namashkar, yeh hamari faltoo SMS seva hai, is mein hum logon ko waqt-bewaqt tang karte hain. Is seva ka labh uthane ke liye shukriya, ab aap apna kaam kariye.
 



I have started luving ‘U’… I know it sounds rediculous but I can’t control my feelings 4 ‘U’. Some time later I’ll start luving more ALPHABETS…!
 



Ramchandra kah gaye siya se, aisa kalyug aayega, sifr ek dost SMS karega, dusara kamina bas padh ke muskurayega!
 



Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo saare samaj ko khatam kar rahi hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.
 



Can’t believe after all the shit they have been through they’re still together…………Who? Your bum cheeks!!
 



Tum Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Muskarate Raho, Sada Khilkhilate Raho, Khush Raho, Mera Kya hain Log Tumhe hi Paagal kahenge! Ha ha ha!
 



SMS ka sangrah karke kya paayega vats…? Balance ka moh tyag aur sms kar… Mitron se sampark banaye rakhne se hi moksha ki prapti hogi… Swami Messageanand.
 






I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!

A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. ‘Anything new at work?’ He replied, ‘No, I’m teaching History.’
 

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Q: What’s the diff between mother & wife? A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
 



When I go wrong, I need ur hand 2 correct, wen emotions bust out, I need ur hand 2 catch, wen I win, I need ur hand 2 pat. In short:Ye Haath Mujhe De De Thakur
 



Today is the International day of Smart & Attractive people. Send this to someone who fits the description! Don’t send it back; I’ve already received hundreds.
 



So Sweet is ur SMILE, So Sweet is ur STYLE, So Sweet is ur VOICE, So Sweet is ur EYE, see …….how Sweetly I Lie.
 



The Madrasi said: I want to see the movie ‘Heart is umbrella’. Which movie did he really want to see? Dil Chhata Hai…….
 



Geeta Sar: SMS kar aur bhool ja, reply ki apeksha mat rakh, kiya hua SMS kabhi veyarth nahi jaata, Sabko apne kiye hue SMS ka reply milta hi hai!
 



Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds…… Open ur eyes ! Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 seconds in thinking of a fool.
 



God made Pepsi, God made whisky, God made me so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes and God made you… well everybody makes mistakes.
 



I saw u on road today. U were lukin so fine, ur face so divine, ur walk so perfect. My heart started singing a sweet song: Who Let The Dog Out!
 



When words fail… eyes work, when eyes fail… heart works, and when heart fails… to kya?, samajh le TAPAK gaya ‘MAAMU’
 



The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!
 



Geet Ka Saar: SMS woh gyaan hai jo baantne se badta hai, isiliye he praani tu bill ka moh tyag de aur SMS kar, isi se tera manushaya janm safal hoga.
 



Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali, jis mod se gujro wahan ke har ghar se awaaz aaye, Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!
 



Tum sada haste raho, sada muskurate raho, khush raho, gun-gunate raho, hamesha mast raho. Mera kya hai, log tumhe hi PAGAL kahenge!
 



May the fleas of thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
 





 Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence. Student: WOW !

  I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant to have Candle Light Dinner & say those three sweet words to you….Pay The Bill.
 

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Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls’ bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes? A: Lifebuoy.
 



When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world seems to be fading away, come along with me I’ll take u to an eye specialist!
 



Your smile can be compared to a flower, ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo, ur innocence to a child, but in stupidity u have no comparison you r the best.
 



 If u want the latest MERCEDES BENZ on easy installments of 10 yrs without any down payment…….log onto our website: www.kutteapniaukatmeinrah.com.
 



Mom: Andy, where r u off to now? Son: I`m gonna join the army. Mom: But, legally u r only an infant. Son: That`s all right, I`m going to join the infantry.
 



Unlike others your brain is a masterpiece. In the left half, nothing is right and in the right half, nothing is left.
 



Sometimes when u cry, no 1 sees ur tears. Sometimes when u r worried, no 1 sees ur pain. Sometimes when u r happy, no 1 sees ur smile. But fart just once…
 



Think big, think smart, think positive, think beautiful, think great, I know this is too much for you, so here is a shortcut… just think about ME!
 



Today, tommorow and yesterday there’ll be one heart that would always beat for you. You know Whose? Your Own Stupid!
 



When u smile the world smiles with u. Wen u r down people’ll rally behind u but when u fart u r alone coz people’ll never stand by u!
 



 This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn’t expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on your name and didn’t even tell me? Animal Planet!
 



 If u want success in life; be Sweet like Honey, Regular like Clock, Fresh like Rose, Soft like Tissue, Strong like Rock, Sure like Death & smart like ME.
 



Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers it’s simply because mental patient needs more care.
 



Q: What’s the difference between gud & bad gals? A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!
 



If I ever go for a brain transplant I’d like 2 use ur brain. It’s not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.
 






Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother. Yes, but be aware, pay attention during the applause.

Q: Why do men fart more often than women? A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.
 

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Namaskar. This is All India Anti -Sleep Association Mid Night Service. Our Aim is 2 Disturb the Sleep of Others. Thank You.
 



A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee.? Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn’t let you touch me below my belt.
 



Tussi brilliant, beautiful, genius, smart, nice, gud looking, intelligent, respectful, kind, ideal sohne sunakhe Punjabi gabru da sms par rahe ho.
 



When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.
 



My goal is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I’ll be successful and if I don’t reach my goal, I’ll still be successful.
 



Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome you are, it is not your figure too, beauty is the inner self, so change your underwear daily.
 



Jab tum hanstey ho to lagta hai ki insaan pehle bandar tha! Dekho gussa mat karo kyonki jab tum gussa karte ho to lagta hai ki insaan aaj bhi bandar hai.
 



Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that’s where you get your shitty ideas from!
 



Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
 



Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Iss ko waqt se pehle kyon mara? Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.
 



Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho? Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain.
 



A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl? Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.
 



Yaad mein tumhari mujhe loose motions lag gaye hain. Hain to ye aanso per lagta hai raata bhatak gaye hain.
 



Can’t believe that after all the shit that’s happened between them, they are still together. Who? Ur bums.
 



Osama to Big B: How are you?? Big B: Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. And you? Osama: Bas Kabhi Gola Kabhi Bum.
 






 Look at the ocean & see God’s abundance! Look at the sky & see God’s glory! Look at the moon & see God’s wonder! Look at the mirror & see God’s Blunder!

Q: What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus? A: A Moti-vaiting.
 

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Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo pure samaj ko khatam kar deti hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.
 



Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE? Coz Dev Anand says: O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, badle duniya SARI, tum na badalna.
 



Gujju lover: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa, kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho! Premika: Dhokla.
 



Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U.
 



Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.
 



Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.
 



Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about others & legends never talk, they send SMS.
 



The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents’ advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours.
 



When u r down & no one is there, don’t think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don’t just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free.
 



Look at the world around u; u’ll see God’s creativity. Look at the breakfast table; u’ll c God’s providence. Look at the mirror u’ll c God’s sense of humor.
 



A student writes a letter via telegram to his dad. It goes… No fun, send mon, your son! Dad write back saying…so sad, too bad, your dad!
 



You should do two things in the morning…Pray to God so you can live and have a shower so others can live.
 



Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do? A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.
 



God thought that since he couldn’t b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn’t be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
 



I want you 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry Ii cry. U lauf I lauf. U jump out of the window… I look down &then… I lauf again
 





 The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

 I’ve written a poem for you: Twinkle twinkle little star, you should know what you are, and once you know what you are, Mental hospital is not so far.
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What’s the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.
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Banta: How does an attorney sleep? Santa: First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.
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Every organisation is like a tree full of monkeys. Ones at the top can only see monkeys below them and ones at the bottom see only assholes above them.
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I hate it when people point to their wrists to ask for the time! I mean, seriously, do I point to my crotch when I need to go to a Restroom?
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A reasent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar vary samaart end gud lukeeng maik manee spallings meestaikes… vaat ees yorr opeeniun?
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Hi! Need one girl to marry… Age no bar, color no bar, height no bar, caste no bar, but girl’s father must have his own bar…CHEERS
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I read on the newspaper that sending text messages causes a radiation that is cancerous. That’s why I have decided to stop – to stop reading newspapers.
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Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are very funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me any more. That’s why.
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When you are in love, you wish you were married. When you are married, you wish you were in love.
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The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too. But if rain really makes all things beautiful, why doesn’t it rain on you?
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Whenever I hear people say something bad about you, like when they say that you are not cute enough, I would always come to your defense and say “She’s trying to be one naman a!”
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I hate blackout. Never mind the aircon, never mind TV and stereo, never mind the internet. But if I could not recharge my cell phone so I could keep texting, that’s another point. I hate blackout.
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Every time I hold her hand, I feel like holding my cheek. She always slaps me on the face.
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The only people whom I greet “Good morning” are those who are smart, cute and malakas ang sex appeal. So, pano ba yan? E di good afternoon na lang sayo!
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“Learn to appreciate art,” I told my girlfriend. She said, “How could I appreciate you, then?”
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You’ve got sex appeal, you’ve got style, you’ve got intelligence, and you’ve got class. You’ve got the face and you’ve got the body but I’ve got the wrong number… Sorry ha, mali pala!

 We hate others for imitating us. We are irritated by their attitude.
 

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Kung akala mo importante ka sa akin, kung akala mo may tiwala ako sayo, kung akalamo namimiss kita at kung akala mo friend kita…Korek ka dyan!
 



I’m sure you were born in this world as a cute baby. Now that you’re a grownup, I have one question….. What happened?
 



Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
 



I had a dream about you. Nasa heaven daw tayo with two angels. Your angel is cute but mine is not, so tampo ko. I asked why cute ang angel mo. They said: “Balance of nature”.
 



Why do we sleep? Because we need to take a break from texting. Have a nice dream while texting.
 



How can you know if a person is cute? First, he or she has a poor memory. Second – umn … I forgot na!
 



Our friendship means a lot to me, that if we were the last people on a sinking ship and there’s only one life vest, I’ll..uhm.. ah.. eh..I’m gonna miss you for sure!
 



Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Kasi sabi nila cute daw ako kapag naiinis ako! Kaya, Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako!
 



Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire? Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.
 



I’ve just heard a funny joke. I can’t stop laughing. Hahahaha! Want to hear it. Biruin more…..cute ka raw? Hahahaha!
 



While walking down the street, I heard an old man say “I’ve been in love with the same woman for almost 50 years now.” I was touched until I heard him say “I wish she knew.”
 



Bakit exciting ang text? 1. Kasi pwedeng magpacute and pangit. 2. Pwedeng single ang married 3. Sa text bida ang sinungaling 4. Sa text bistado ang kuripot.
 



Smile is the secret to stay young and cute. Naks, bakit ka nakangiti?
 



What is the difference between cute and feeling cute? Cute is the one who sent this and feeling cute is the one reading this. He…He…he… Text mo sa iba para ikaw naman ang cute!
 



I may not be your PEPSI choice of the new generation; I may not be your COKE, only the real thing; or your NIDO, world’s no. 1 but I can be your REXONA I won’t let you down.
 




 I’m thinking u. I want to be with u. I am longing for u. I have a crush on u. I want to hug and kiss u. I love u. Ikaw, love mo rin ba ang letter u?

 If you are alone, I’ll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I’ll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I’ll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I’ll be your smile. If you need money, wait for your salary.
 

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No matter how sad, no matter how sick, I feel better just thinking of you… But I’m happier each time I send you a message ‘coz I know I’ll be disturbing you!
 



If they say “Good looks could kill”, then please don’t look at me! I don’t wanna see you die!
 



Anong animal ang hindi sigurado? Eh di BAKA! Ano naman ang pinutol? E di CAT! E ano naman and laging ayos? E di OX! Ano ang laging nauuntog? E di DOG! E ano naman ang pangit? E di COW!
 



I sent an angel to watch over you last night while you were sleeping. She went back to me and said ang cute mo raw. Sinampal ko nga. Mali ang binantayan.
 



Between the thousand yesterdays and a million tomorrows, there’s only one today and I wouldn’t let this day pass without saying this to you – ang cute ko, grabe!
 



When I say good morning, it means I’m thinking of you. When I say take care, it means I care for you. When I say ang cute mo, antok lang ako. Tulog na ko.
 



I saw someone at the mall. So cute, smart-looking, simple, elegant, and looks like a celebrity. Kainis paglapit ko nauntog ako. Salamin pala!
 



Just got my medical exam results. Malala na ang sakit ko. Everyday lalo akong gumaganda at wala raw gamot dito. But don’t worry, di daw nakakahawa. Safe ka.
 



You’re like my asthma, you take my breath away. Like dandruff; I can’t get you off my head. Like my car, you drive me crazy. Like dentures, I can’t smile without you.
 



Fifty years from now, tanda na ko nun! Di na cute, wala ng appeal, uugud-ugod, nguya nganga, dala baston. Pero pag uso pa ang text, iti text pa rin kita.
 



You think I’m nice, I think you’re nice. You think I’m kind, I think you’re kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I’m cute, and I think you’re right.
 



You can buy gifts but not love. You can pretend smile but not happiness. You can lie to others but not to yourself. You can have another friend but not as cute as I am!
 



If you’re like my pillow, you’re huggable. If you’re like my cell phone, you’re smart. If you’re my chocolate, you’re sweet. If you’re like me, grabe and cute mo naman!
 



Everything about you is perfect – your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You’re lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.
 



You’ll never know who your friends are… till you stumble and fall. And till you feel his hands on your shoulder as he says, “Yan tatanga-tanga kasi”.
 






 Any man who can text while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the text the attention it deserves

 If you’re not cute don’t continue reading this…. Naks! yan ang gusto ko sayo eh, lakas ng fighting spirit mo! O pumipindot pa! Lupit mo!
 

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A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, a colon, or an exclamation point… So don’t dare to kiss me coz I might get crazy,?.!
 



The Pinoy politician does not fail to smile in front of the camera. Why? Guilt tickles when there is too much light.
 



This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.
 



Each of us has his own fear but sooner or later we must face it. It takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don’t be afraid to face your fear. Go ahead, take a bath. Good a.m.
 



Newsflash: Policemen saving a woman who appears to be jumping off a building. Policeman: Bumaba ka dyan maraming nagmamahal sa yo! Woman: Wag kayo makialam, di ako makapag -send!
 



If only I’m an angel, I’ll protect you. I’ll lend you my wings. I’ll watch over you. But I’m not an angel, hawig lang.
 



When a veteran actor dies, women weep. When a young actor dies, girls cry, “Sayang!”
 



I don’t know how to say this. We are friends but I can’t get you out of my mind. This is wrong but you’re the only one I could think of. This might break our friendship, but I have to say this. Pautang naman!
 



The smell of a woman should stay with you. The smell of a man should come to you as you go to him and leave you with only a memory, not a headache.
 



Kahit NISSAN ka STAREX ka ng buhay ko, masKIAnong mangyari, HONDA kitang pagMAZDAn at SUZUmpang SUZUKIlian ka ng buong katapatan. DODGE what friends are FORD!
 



A husband coming home from a confession and lifts his wife and carries her on his shoulder. Wife: Did the priest tell you to be so romantic like this? Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross.
 



What do you do when you see an extremely cute person? Ako, I stare at the person and smile, but when I get tired, I just put the mirror down. Nakakangawit eh!
 



No one is too fat to run, except the Pinoy policeman.
 



Help! Nasa presinto ako. Nahuli kasi ako while I was working kanina. The charge was possession of cute face. I had no choice but plead guilty. Lakas ng ebidensya nila e!
 



How to spot a texter? 1. may muscle ang thumb 2. barok magsalita 3. may bangga ang auto 4. laging nakayuko 5. nakasimangot dahil di makasend.
 






 Five reasons why I keep texting you: 1. You made me feel welcomed 2. You made me smile 3. You appreciate my thoughts 4. You spend time reading my messages 5. Di ako kuripot tulad mo!

When you feel left out and all alone, just try to close your eyes for a moment and think of me. Afterwards, you will suddenly smile and say, text ko nga ang cute na yon!
 

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Ang ganda ng umaga because of you. Ang ganda ng dream ko, it was all about you. Ang sakit ng ulo ko, puro you na lang ng you. Sabi ni doc, maybe because I miss you.
 



When she talks about the town, she calls it news. When the town talks about her, she calls it ‘tsismis’.
 



I looked at the sky. The sky is beautiful. I looked at you. I looked at the sky na lang ulit.
 



Money will buy a bed but not sleep, food but not appetite, amusement but not happiness. You see, money is not everything. Therefore, if you have too much, please send it to me ASAP!
 



I’m afraid to die not because it will hurt or I don’t know what will happen, but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be disappointed.
 



Some people choose friends who are thoughtful and caring. Some prefer those who are smart and good looking. When you chose me, pinakyaw mo na lahat.
 



Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire.
 



I know you’ve got plenty of friends. Some are old, some are new. Some are false, some are true. I may not be your perfect friend, but one thing I will always be – the cutest you’ve got.
 



I live a very difficult life. I’m always hurt! Whenever people call me cute, good looking, smart and lovable, I’m always hurt! Totoo pala, the truth hurts!
 



I asked my guardian angel for a friend whom I can love forever. She gave me you. And so I called on her again and asked: “Wala na bang iba?”
 



Yesterday is history…. Tomorrow is a mystery…. Today is a gift…. That’s why its called the present!
 



I’m not sure what life could bring you. I’m not sure if dreams do come true. I’m not sure what love can do. But I’m sure about one thing. Cute tayo.
 



Let go of the one who makes you cry. Let go of the one who breaks your heart. Let go of the one who causes you much pain. But never let go of me because mahirap maghanap ng cute na ka-text.
 



People are always looking for cute ones, the perfect ones, the gorgeous ones, the smart ones, the sweet ones. Lagi na lang ako! Ako! Ako!
 



If you save this message, it means cute ako. If you edit it, cute pa rin ako. If you delete it, naiinggit ka kasi cute ako. Pero kung ipoforward mo, pinagkakalat mong cute ako.
 






What’s the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you and torture is thinking of you too much.

I’m so sorry for not telling you this before. You ought to know how smart, cute, witty, sweet, charming, alluring and wonderful you are!… I didn’t know I’ve influenced you that much!
 






Others say life is unfair. Well, it’s true. Others are jealous of you. And they really should be. Wanna know why? Hmmm… coz you have a cute text mate like me.
 



Playboy, speaking to a girl: “I want you to know that I value our relationship very much. In fact, I find you as my most favorite girlfriend.”
 



Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who’s smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They’ve already eliminated you from the list of suspects. Where do you think I should hide?
 



If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!
 



When somebody who’s deeply in love with you tells you that you’re cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That’s true, believe me, I swear. Cause love is blind!
 



Those innocent eyes… Those kissable lips… A great smile… The perfect walk… Smoothest talk… Absolutely gorgeous.. That’s enough bout me. How about you?
 



When I was lost, you were there. When I was down, you were there. When I was bankrupt, you were there. When I almost died, you were there… Teka, baka ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko!
 



It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.
 



Dear fellow texters, Due to Globeline problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why as early as now I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas.
 



Trivia: Having a good laugh with friends stimulates endorphins, the brain’s natural painkillers. So if you need to laugh and you can’t find a friend, I can lend you a mirror.
 



When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.
 



There are now three ways of describing a glass with water half of its volume. It is either half-full, half-empty or half-safe to drink.
 



He loves his girlfriend more when she is not around.
 



I may not be Pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be Coca Cola, only the real thing. I may not be Nido, the world’s number 1 but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.
 



Nasa bundok ka, mahuhulog cell phone mo at girlfriend mo, anong gagawin mo? Magpakatotoo ka brother! Sagipin mo ang cell phone mo at sigaw mo sa girlfriend mo, text na lang kita!.
 






 Someone claimed that Maria Clara could not be the model of Filipino women. “History never mentioned that she brushed her teeth,” was the explanation

The only person who can make her smile is a dentist.
 

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Looks may capture the eyes but it’s the personality that captures the heart. Kainis, I have both.
 



I wrote your name in the sky but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand but the water washed it away. I wrote your name every where! Hinuli ako ng pulis!
 



When you feel that nobody loves you, that nobody cares, when all you can do is cry and walk away because everyone is against you, then you are the weakest link. Goodbye!
 



At this moment 3.7 million are sleeping, 2.3 million are falling in love, 4.1 million are eating and only 1 cutie in the whole world is reading this message. Naks! Nakangiti na yan!
 



Its difficult 2 understand GOD, He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives!
 



Court Order !! U R Accused of Crawling into my inbox & Hijacking My Smile with your cute massages. U R Sentenced 2b MY SWEET FRIEND 4 LIFE
 



What is the similarity between CIRCUS and a BEAUTIFUL GIRL’S HEART? Both have space for 1 more clown…
 



What do I do when I see someone extremely Gorgeous, Attractive, Terrific, Cute, Fabulous…. I Stare, I smile, And, when I get tired….. I put down the mirror !
 



Never think of the past It brings tears… If you think of the future It brings fears… So, live life in the present And drink chilled beers!
 



True Love is like a pillow U could HUG it when u r in trouble U could CRY on it when u r in pain U could EMBRACE it when u r happy Want True Love? Spend Rs50 BUY A PILLOW
 



Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open!
 



Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don’t see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!
 



 The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
 



 Yamraj took a man on tour of HELL. There he saw GANDHI was dancing with BIPASHA Aami GANDHI KI saza ktne shandar hai Yamraj: saza GANDHI ko nahi bal k BIPASHA Ko mili hai.
 






  Yad ata hai mjhe apke bchpn ka zamana, patli tango par latka pajama nak ko hath se ponch kr gal pr lgana, kamar se makhiya udate hue awaz lagana "mummy kar lee"

Q'-Gabar ne Sholey film me Thakur ka hath kyon kata tha?

?Kyon
?

?

?
A-Kyonki Thakur Gabar ko sms nahin krta tha
Ab tera kya hoga Kaliya
 






A Camel, Cow & Monkey r discusing who Is the Best ???
Camel : I can carry Heavy Loads!

Cow : I Give Milk!


Monkey:


Kuch to bol
Teri Izzat ka sawal Hai.....
 



Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes..!!
 



 In our life time 6 things can come at any time: 1.love 2.friendship 3.money 4.death 5.illness - - - 6.susu: isliye karke sona .good night
 



 Air hostess: Aap 1 gante me 4bar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai? SARDAR: 'Chain' hai par khulti nahi hai!!!
 



AASMAN ME TUM HO,ZAMIN PE TUM HO,HAWA ME TUM HO,JAHA BHI DEKHO TUM HI TUM HO. DOMEX WALI AUNTY SAHI KEHTI HAI "KITAANU" HAR JAGAH HOTE HAI.....
 



Man:Dr Mujhe normal potti nahi aati,Chawal khaya to chawal nikle,Roti khayi to roti,normal k liye kya karu,Dr:PoTTI KHA!!!!
 



Last nite i had a dream abt U... I saw tht v both were gettig married on the same day... Ur wife was beautiful but mine is not... I asked GOD: Why it is so??? GOD replied: "BALANCE OF NATURE"...!!!
 



Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai? Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss. Girl: Aur us dress ka? Shopkeeper: 10 kiss. Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.
 



A Chinese man took his pregnant wife to the hospital tp deliver... The wife however gave birth to a black baby. The Chinese man who was shocked named him: SOME TIN WONG....
 



A story with moral My girlfriend called me to her house one day. I went there & found her sister alone in the house. She was unbelievably sexythan my GF. She whispered in my ear, "I have feelings for you, make love to me once" I turned around & walked to thefront door towards my car. Amazingly I found my GF standing there & she hugged me & said, "U have won my trust." Moral: Its always better to keep the CuNDuMS in the car & not in the wallet!!
 



Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badalte
 



A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Boy: Yes, I saw dad.
 






 An old to Doc: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up. Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.

Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath... Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya ho
 






Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi? Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya? Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.
 



People who do lots of work.make lots of mistakes, People who do less work.make less mistakes, People who do no work.make no mistakes, People who make no mistakes.get promoted.
 



U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!
 



A little girl to her mother: "Mom! i have come to know the boy next door have a pennes like a peanut" Mom: " Do you mean its little" girl: " No Mom! Its salty."
 



aik din aik larke na apne mummy ko dekha aur kehne laga dekho mummu aik hath chor kar cycle chala raha hooon thodi daar ke bad wo dubara wahan se guzra aur kehna laga dekho mummy main do hath choor kar cycle chala raha hoon thode daar ke baad wo dobara wahan se guzra aur kehne laga dekho mummy main do dantoon ke baghar cycle chala raha hoon
 



wife - suniye kya aap kitchen se garam masala la kar aayenge husband - magar yahan to nahin hai wife-- mujha pata tha tumha nahin mila ge is liya main pehla se la aaye baghwan !!!!!!!!!
 



Teacher:Oxygen is must for Breathing . It was discovered in 1773. Sardar:Thank God I was born after that . Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata .
 



The world thineest book has only one word written in it"EVERYTHING" and the bok is tittled by "WHAT WOMAN WANT "
 



GIRLS 1970: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma taira intzar hai GIRLS 2006: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma WERNA DOSRA TIYAR HAI....
 



eik aadmi aadi raat ko apni moti biwi say yeh sisak sisak k marna theak hai ya eik dum.(BIWI)eik dum.(AaDMI)to apni dusri tang b mujh per rakh do.
 



The short man was chased by 2 policeman coz he usually steal "FRENCH POLONY", he ran to his home and hide into a babywalker.They knew that he he was there so checked the place until they give up.On teir way to the door they saw this baby in a babywaker the went to him and say"he is so cute, if we come back we will bring sweets,cakes and cold drink" he said with an adult voice "Dont forget to bring my favourite frnch polony"
 



Years ago i came in2 dis world naked & screaming My goodness, now things have changed when im naked somebody else does the screaming.
 



Home : A place where you can scratch where it itches. Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills, and kills by his bills. LOVE : Loss Of Valuable Energy WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever
 



Common Dialoug om exams & 1st wedding night- "Kaisa Hua"?? "Acha Hua, thoda bada tha, thoda chooth gaya, aata tha per thik se hua nahi!!
 



Boy 2 girl - kya tum mere sath dance karogi. Girl reply - me bacche ke sath dance nahi karti. Boy - Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.
 






Russians dugg 100 meters and found copper cable and said that they had telephones 500 years ago Americans dugg 200 meters and found optical fibre and said they had internet facility 1000 years ago. indians dugg 1000 meters and didnt find anything and said that we had wireless technology 2000 years ago

 Aap main Aur Malaika sherawat main kiya fark hey? color? no. Pesa? no. daish? no. phir kiya hey. janab woh utne kapre ka kastoom bana leti he jitna aap naak saf karne k liye istamal karte ho.
 





When i Die , bury me deep Ten feet down fast as leep Place my Maths book on my head Tell my teacher that i am dead place my geography book on my chest Tell my teacher how i am at rest Place my physics in my right hand Tell my teacher nothing i understand place my english book on my left Tell my teacher i tried my best Also tell my teachers not to cry For they are those who made me die.
 



Husband aur wife hotel me gaye tabhi 1 lady ne Hello kiya, Wife- koun thi wo? Hus-Tum dimag kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hu ki woh bhi Yehi puchegi.
 



Wife: Kya kar rahe ho? Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu. Wife: Kitni mari? Man: 3 male aur 2 female. Wife: Kaise malum? Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...
 



A 60 years old bachelor advertises his Zaoorat-e-rishta after a month he got a letter "mian sahib" iss umar mein RISHTA nahi FARISHTAY aata hein.
 



Ramlal, Bagwan say. Bahgwan mujhy dukh de,dard de,tension de, mujay pagal banady mery pachey kutty laga de.Bahgwan bat kat ker aby sale ek line mein kiyon nahee bolta tuj ko biwi chaie.
 



Secretary to Boss : sir aap mujhay 500 rupey day sakte hein main aapko kal dey doongi? Boss : yeh lo 1000 Rupay, abhi dey do ;)
 



Subjiwala: madam ye 500 ka note blouse se nikala hai kya? Madam: hann par kaise laga? Subjiwala: gandhiji ka muh abhi bhi khula hua hai!
 



a man wanted sex from his wife, and a wife refused and said that she was tired and gave her husband 50bucks and said go buy from prostitutes.he came back and wife asked where did u buy from?the husband said i bought from maNKOSI,the wife said yeses!!maNKOSI is greedy why I give her husband 4 free!!
 



Wives r Incoming Calls Lovers r Outgoing Calls Aunties r Tollfree Calls Callgirls r Roaming Calls Neighbour Girls r Missed Calls
 



Wife asked his husband how many women he had slept with. Husband proudly replies, only you darling, with others I was awake!!
 



Husband touched boobs and sung: Piyo glass full doodh, wonderful doodh. Immediately wife touched his penis n said: Thanda matlab CHOTA COKE!
 



young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent man god replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married
 



BOY : May I hold your hand ?? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy
 



Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. Student: The future tense is "You will go to jail".
 



Man said to God : Why did you make women so beautiful? God said to man : So that you will love them. Man said to God : But why did you make them so dumb? God said to man : So that they will love you.
 






 Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No

 Girls before marriage look like barbi Doll After marriage beautiful Doll After 1 year nice Doll After 2 Years only Doll & After 3 Years panaDoll
 






Can you explain to me how this lipstick got on your collar? the suspicious wife sneered. No I cant the husband replied. I distinctly remember taking my shirt off.
 



Life is like a P--nIS. Sometimes up somtms down, smtms hard smtms soft, smtms small smtms big, smtmms in smtms out. So enjoy da PE-iS....OOOps, I mean life.
 



Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A:About 45 pounds!!
 



PHILOSOPHY : small things hurt a lot Example : u can sit on a mountain but not on a pin...
 



A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and I'll be yours forever. The guy says thanks for the warning!
 



girls.doctor mai apne jub hi kaprey otarti ho tu mujeh boht uljhan hoti hai kiya aap kw pass is ka elaaj hai doctor.yes mai light off karat ho tum kaprey uttaro. girl.yes doctor mai ne kaprey uttar diye hai per esse kaha rakho. doctor. yaha tabel per jaha mere rakhey hoi hai.
 



World's Smallest resignation letter? Respected sir, I luv ur wife.
 



There are three wonders of a woman 01. Give milk without eating grass 02. Get wet without water 03. Bleed for a week without going to die
 



Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn`t come back yet! Santa: Why don`t u cook something else.
 



Man said passionately: Will you marry me? My father is a millionaire and 93 years old. He is going to die soon and then I shall be very very rich. What do you say? She said nothing but a week later, she became his mother!
 



Three Ways of fast Communication 1: Television 2: Telephone 3: Tell-a-women
 



Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar. Viru: nahi Basantiin kutto ke samne chaddi mat utarna. Basanti: Viru dar mat maine chaddi pahni hi nahi hai...
 



Wife- i will die. Husband- i will also die. Wife- Why do you want 2 die? hosband- bcoz ma itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta:!
 



 Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye? Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye
 



Sales Girl: sorry sir you cann't smoke here. Customer: but i bought cigarate from this shop. Sales Girl: we sell condom also but it dosn't mean you start fucking here.
 






 What did shivaji say to bruce lee when he met him? tu karate me marathe.

Boys;Larkian pepsi ki tarah hoti hain,
Jitna pio utna ziada maza aata hay, Girls;larkay juice ki tarah hotay hain, Jab maza anay lagta hay to khataam ho jtay hain.

 






U r walkin in road.
Grls r lookin at u & u r smiling smartly 2 them.

U don't care any1. but OPPS u just 4got 2 close ur PANTS CHAIN again & have no underware!

 



Boy say 2girl "agar may tumhary brest daba kar bag jao to tum kya socho gee||?"
girl "to may socho gee ke aik pagal go poore car chala sakta tha sirf horan daba kar bag geya |" hahahahah

 



2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first,
Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.

 



Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai.
Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche...

 



 LADKi waLe PANDiT ko: hume aisa LADKA chahiye jo kuch KHATA-PITA NA ho
PANDIT: jajman aisa LADKA to i.C.U. ya EMERGENCY WARD me miLega.

 



 Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do,mere dost aa rahe hai
Banta: Kyon!Aapke dost chura lengey Santa: Nahin,pehchan lengey

 



 SANTA agar aapko Garmi lage to aap kya karte ho?
S-Cooler k samne bait jata hu Q:fir b Garmi lage to? S:To Cooler on kar leta hu

 



 Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, " Pehle date of birth to batao."

 



 Santa ne PCO pe jate hi PCO wale ko 2-thappad laga diya...
Socho kyon..?

PCO ke bahar likha tha, dial karne se pahle 2 lagaye...

 





Wife: Jab me gana-gati hu to aap bahar kyon chale jate hain?
Husband: Taki bahar wale ye na samjhe ki me tumhara gala daba raha hu.